Sperm Poisoning Reported in Northern Russia

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A woman in Murmansk, a northern Russian city close to the Norwegian border, felt unwell after eating a salad from a local food store. The dish was sent to experts for analysis and they determined it contained sperm of at least six men.

Source: http://arctic-tv.ru

It remains unclear why sperm would produce such a negative effect on the woman. Nor has it been reported how the victim of sperm poisoning is going to proceed with her investigation and whether she filed an official complaint with any government bodies.

Police say it is unlikely they will identify the six men who dressed the said salad with their semen because of the city’s huge male population. Murmansk is the world’s biggest city above the Polar Circle with more than 300,000 residents. The number of adult males, who could have contributed seminal fluid to the food chain, could be estimated at tens of thousands, according to a senior police officer of the city’s department of the Russian Interior Ministry.

In a somewhat related and sad development, a huge penis crushed to death a young couple as they were about to take selfies in front of the snow sculpture in the town of Mikhailovskoye in Russia’s Altai region.

The penis was erected by employees of a local woodworking factory, who fortified it with a beam and doused with water for extra strength and good look. The statue apparently fell because of the thaw that melted the foundation of the construction.

The young people were both 22 years of age. At the time of writing police were looking for the self-made architects.